30-day Blog Challenge / random thoughts

Day 23: Two months ago, where were you and what were you doing?

Two months ago, I am inside a cubicle, daydreaming of so many things like travelling, writing, losing weight, books to read. Back then, I was doing a job that I feel no connection whatsoever. Two months ago, I felt the strongest urge to quit the job. I wanted to leave and break free. Two months ago, I felt down and yes, I felt like a prisoner.

Two months ago, I was inside a place where I had all the reason to be grateful for- a great job, a career, decent paycheck,- but for some reason, I couldn’t find any reason to continue with the job anymore. I felt so disconnected with elementary books I was editing. I was so unhappy. I was so burdened.

Two months ago, I was thinking of my dreams. I was soul-searching in a not-so-obvious ways. I even made a list of things I wanted to do once I quit my job.

Now, I am in-between jobs. It is not an easy decision, and I must be honest to tell you that I have all the worries inside my mind. I am frightened I won’t be able to provide financially for myself and for my family. I am afraid to one time tell myself I’ve made a mistake. I am frightened in any way possible.

But I have to face my fears. I have to get back up or else I will be a failure forever. It is not so much of the past, really. Nor it should be about the future. I have to live in the now. And now, I know I don’t have all that I want, but I am very, very thankful because I have everything that I need.

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