5 more days and I am out of employment. I quit my job. It is one of those crazy decisions I made in my life that made me ironically HAPPY. I am so excited for the new life ahead of me. I am excited for new adventures to try. Fears? I’ve got tons! But somewhere in my heart I know that fear dances together with excitement. It’s like traveling into an spontaneous destination. Others condemn me for being who I am- for not doing what others expect me to. It is selfish, maybe, but I just don’t want to go on and live the rest of my life regretting the things I didn’t do for myself. Although poverty and insecurities over fancy job titles fear me the most, I will pray hard to make it through. I will pray hard not to be poor! And I believe God will provide and I will find my way. Promise. Now, over job titles. Well, I think I should work on a new business card with all my skills written on it. What do you think?
1. Self-employment. This is really a gamble on my part. I am aiming to find my place in the world without being constrained in a boring cubicle. I admit I have no plans either on how to start or what to do. All I know is I wanted to try something else other than staying in an office. I want to have my own time and my own place. But I know that I must be prepared to live below poverty line. Well, some artists live that way but they are happy. But I will strive to become a rich artist. I will find my way to earn without any boss. I could share my skills without being a slave to employment. In that way, I could find independence I have long been waiting for. Am I being impractical? Am I becoming stubborn? Well, maybe I am. But I will not be me if I am not stubborn. My friends could affirm to that.
2. Photography. There is nothing I want more today than to improve my photography skills. I wanted to go out there and shoot. I want to stay all night trying to tweak my digital photos. This is my passion and I will improve on it. This is my art. This is my companion. Everyday I go out there and I see photographic frame lingering on my thoughts. All I want is to shoot.
3. Writing. Influenced by Anne Frank, I will write even if I don’t have any audience. I will write because I will always have something to say. I will write because I love to craft words. I will write because I am a communicator. I will write because I love to share. Someday, when the time is right, people will hear me.
4. Exercise. One thing I neglect over the years of working is my body. I am so excited to put on my sneakers and head off to jog. I want to be more active and gain my body back. I want to be healthier and please oh please, I want to let go of my muffin top!
5. Fashion all you want. I love dressing up, money is not a problem. Fashion can be inexpensive but never cheap- that’s what I believe. All I wanted is to wear what I want to wear. Be who I want to be. I am so happy I could live the day without letting others tell me what to wear. Just thinking about my office uniform makes me grinch. How I hated it. I thought I can like it, I thought I loved it, but everyday it feels as if it makes me uglier and uglier and boring more than ever. When all this office thing is over, I will wear what I want. Gosh! I can’t wait!
6. Books. After spending a year and a half reading only elementary books, I am craving for literary books and other literary genres. I want to read more and I am so happy I will have more time to read now! (Bum life eh! ahahah)
All in all, I just want to be free. I am using that word more often now because I feel like I have a lot of reservations within me. Freedom is doing what makes you happy.
Sure I have fears but what the heck! I am excited for my life more than ever!