random thoughts

Braveheart

One thing I discovered recently is the profound braveness I have inside me. I know some might think of me as weak for quitting my job, but I don’t really perceive it that way. I quit because I realized there is so much I can offer to the world other than reading elementary books. I quit because I believe I deserve to be happy. I quit because I realized traditional employment is boring, and I am not really a conventional type of person. I quit because I want something BETTER.

Everyday, since I started working, I would daydream in front of the computer, wishing I could go somewhere. I read travel blogs, or blogs that tackle self-employment, getting rich, self-improvement… things outside my cubicle. Everyday, for years, all I did was to pray for something better. Everyday, all I did was to wish.

And now, after quitting yet another regular employment, I don’t want to wish anymore. I want to try and do something for my dreams. I want to have freedom from all the expectations and conventionalities set forth by the people around me. All I want to be is to be ME. (In short, I don’t want a regular day job anymore.)

Truth is I really don’t know exactly where I’m going. I have offers here and there. Opportunities knock left to right. But there is nothing in particular I really wanted to be in yet. But I am so happy my hopes are so high, the optimism I have in me is higher than all the degradation I experience. And it amazes me how Coelho could be so accurate, that is, when you really want something, the whole universe conspires for you to get it.

Fears are present. They will never go away from someone who is transitioning from nothing to something. But fear is like my gasoline right now, it drives me to be who I want to be.

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