I cried before a friend, I cried with all my heart, tears, and pains. I know I have to let it out. I’m tired, but I quit giving up. Hope exists, morning is on its way.
I wrote that opening line as I sit in front of an empty text box. My eyes are still aching, and so is my heart. A lot of things happened – and I mean a lot. However, I don’t really want this place to be a “drama” blog so I skip the entire “days of our lives” story. Let’s just say, I am having a normal uber emotional day.
And so, skipping the drama…Here are some of the “happy” changes in my life that I want to share.
One thing I am currently DOING and ENJOYING right now is toning my body. I enrolled in an aerobics class offered by our company clinic. It is sooo much fun- seriously. I feel my lungs are open for the first time. I even invest in training shoes (got it on sale. yey!) and bought pink yoga mat. Enrolling in aerobics is a big leap for me because it means I must face the teasing I will get from the pessimists around me. I also have to face the expectations of those people who do not understand the reason why I’m doing this. The truth is, I am doing this not to get thin. I am doing this because I want to. You see, I tried getting into this get-thin-routines- cause I see the thinner me, and it just pulled me to frustrations. I diet, then quit, diet, then quit, then diet again. It was hell. Until I realize that I am living in the “future” that doesn’t really exist, imprisoned by my decisions in my “past” and I forgot about living in the “now.” I tried dieting because I feel the guilt of overeating in the past. I tried dieting because I want to get thin in the future. I forgot to enjoy what I have in the present. So, I thought of JUST enjoying the whole process and live in my current body, while doing something to make it better. Today, I must say I am doing aerobics ‘coz I love what it does in my body. I’m toning down ‘coz I love my body, and not because I hate it.
(I also started running in the morning. It was a lot of fun, too. More on this soon)
2. First year anniversary with my current company
There are things in my working life that I intend to ignore because I don’t want to be too emotional when it comes to my work (part of practicing professionalism). But this one is no joke. I know I must rejoice. My current work is not perfect, but it is way better than my previous jobs. I never thought I could last up till this day.