random thoughts

To Trudge

Haist. Kinsenas na. So, it means na kalahati ng unang buwan ng taon ay tapos na- passed by. Ang bilis diba? Parang nung isang araw lang ng gumagawa ako ng mga new years resolution na hanggang ngaun ay feeling ko wala naman natutupad. Nasa stage kasi ako ngaun na parang gusto ko na ng “next level” 0 ung bagong achievement, new look, new job, new life, new thrills. Pero parang hindi ko magawa. Parang ang bilis lumipas ng araw pero nakikita ko lang ang sarili kong nakatunganga sa kangkungan. It means, gusto ko lang ang lahat=== but I dont want it bad enough kaya siguro walang nangyayari.

Been praying for God for “that” special break, last year was a mess, nagsara ang account namin sa ebar, napunta sa another work without healing the previous wounds, nowhere to go, nowhere to be found. Haist. Drama Drama Drama. So now, gusto ko sana hataw ako. Hataw hindi lang sa sayawan at kantahan- hehe- kundi pati na rin sa pera at karera. My progress? Level 2- Trudging– o naglalagalag sa tagalog– sana naman mapunta na ako sa level 3- running in lane.. tamang daan, may direksiyon at may pinatutunguhan.

Been reading “How to get what you want , and how to want what you have” by John Gray. It tells a lot about being happy “now”- kasi un lang daw ang key to make you want what you have and continue to get what you want. The idea is to feel everything- and accept everything na nangyayari sa buhay mo- own it – in that way, you will know kung paano hawakan ito ng buong buo para makuha mo kung anong gusto mo. Denial is not the key, being responsible with your life is. It also tells something about “meditation- in order to feel what you really feel and control it the way you want it to be. Parang divertion- but not really denial of what you feel. Well, been meditating before so might as well try this one.

Am talking to Laurence a while ago, I pray for him and his wife- sana magkaanak na sila.
Received message from ate hannah, read her blog, and missed her so much. Praying for her- and her safety there in London- physically and emotionally.

mhel also, prayers for him and his czone. vacation days are over kaya mejo humina ang shop. Sana lumakas pa ang dating ng tao dito.

am hopeful.
hopeful still.
as for me, need to be hopeful.

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